Maryland Mediation Blog

A non-adversarial approach to problem solving allows parties to discuss issues relevant to their dispute, express their emotions, and turn a win-lose conflict into a win-win solution.

Mediation is a non-adversarial process. A mediator does not make decisions. A mediator is an impartial, third party, who assists two or more parties in dispute communicate with one another, express feelings, and focus on the mutual interests or problems of the parties in order to obtain a mutually acceptable settlement or solution.

The Social Security Administration, for example, maintains the application process for Social Security disability benefits and the hearing process are non-adversarial. The parties are the Commissioner of the Social Security Administration and the claimant, i.e., the person applying for disability benefits. The Social Security Administration alleges it is committed to assisting eligible claimants, whether represented by an attorney or not, obtain the benefits for which they are applying.

In contrast, the adversarial approach is one where the parties are in opposition, and even hostile to one another. Each party thinks he/she is correct, his/her argument is the strongest, and he/she will win. The adversarial approach produces a winner and a loser.

Litigation is an example of an adversarial approach. In a court of law, a judge or jury will determine who wins or loses. The rules of procedure provide each party may present its version of the facts. Unlike mediation, the adversarial process does not tolerate displays of emotion by the parties.

Where parties are represented by counsel, lawyers in opposition to one another argue their cases to the judge and/or jury in hopes of obtaining a decision in favor of their respective client. The judge's decision is based on the facts presented.

Every family is unique, and many families are dealing with elder care issues. Disagreement and emotionally charged arguments are common. Until family disputes are resolved, care and treatment of a vulnerable aging parent or elder family member may not be consistent. Where the elder family member has declared a preference for care, family disputes may interfere with the observance of the preferences.

While mentally competent, aging family members may be reluctant to discuss plans for care in the event they are no longer able to live independently. Many people find the prospect of discussing advanced medical directives overwhelming. However, when a family member can no longer independently manage the activities of daily living, or live alone safely, the time has arrived to discuss care.

In some cases, despite an aging or elder family member's written medical directives, children and/or other family members still fight about treatment, discharge, and follow up care for the parent or elder family member. A daughter may resent that care of the elderly family member falls to her. A son may not be ready to "pull the plug."

Decisions may be made in the home of the children, or the elderly family member. Families that deal with the emotionally charged issues of elder care outside of the assisted living facility, nursing home, or hospital, assist the case managers and care providers with already overwhelming workloads.

Mediation is ideal for families in conflict related to elder care. In my Maryland practice, families benefit from a neutral third party who assists them with thoughtful discussion and negotiation related to the highly charged emotional issues relevant to elder care.
 

Mediation is a sensible alternative for couples with irreconcilable differences who choose to unravel the business that was their relationship.

Mediation allows couples to get on with the rest of their lives sooner. The mediation process takes less time, and costs less money than litigation.

While a couple with children may be ending a relationship as spouses, the couple will continue to be parents for years to come. Parents who care for the best interest of their children work to reduce their children's exposure to their parents' dispute and to decrease their children's stress. Mediation assists parents to minimize emotional trauma to their children.
 
The issues of child custody and visitation, child and/or spousal support, and property settlement can be discussed in mediation. An agreement can be drafted by a mediator. Once signed by the parties, the agreement is binding.

Couples who have retained attorneys and begun divorce proceedings, may still use mediation to negotiate issues that will otherwise be decided by a stranger in a black robe.

In the State of Maryland couples who are divorcing are ordered to attend mediation before being able to appear in front of a judge.

The alternative to mediation, litigation, is adversarial, expensive, time consuming, and stressful. The stress often spills over onto children, friends, and co-workers.

Couples do not give up legal rights by participating in mediation before or during litigation. Furthermore, they stand to benefit with mediation because they can maintain control of the process, resolve their issues and leave mediation with a fair, practical agreement with which they are comfortable living.

If parent and teens attempt to exert their wills on one another  disagreements between the two may quickly spiral out of control. The results may be explosive.

Parents may become aware of high risk behavior, or observe an increase in preexisting high risk behaviors. Teens may feel parents do not understand and are too controlling.

Communication is a challenge, whether you are a parent or a teen. Parent-teen mediation assists parents and teens with communication. It helps parents and teens listen and hear one another, and learn about each others' needs.

A teenager who acts out may be mirroring dysfunctional behavior and/or patterns of communication seen in the family home. Family relationships can be changed by parent-teen mediation. Dysfunctional communication patterns and destructive behavior do not have to continue to strain relationships.

Parent-teen mediation minimizes blame, reduces pressure and focuses on communication between parents and teens.  If parents focus on teen behavior only, an opportunity to repair what may be dysfunctional family communication and/or behavior may be overlooked.

Parent - teen mediation is a safe place for parents and teens to explore their relationships individually and as members of a family. Parent-teen mediation facilitates effective communication between parents and teens and teaches them new ways to communicate and work through issues.

Parent-teen mediation empowers parents and teens to discuss issues which are a source of conflict, find solutions which are mutually agreeable, and learn new strategies for problem solving which will also be useful for future conflicts. 

Every marriage hits a bump or an obstacle. Many couples find these challenges overwhelming. Mediation is a sensible process for couples who want to overcome the challenges, move forward, and remain married. The mediation process is also useful for couples with irreconcilable differences who are unraveling a marriage.

Mediation is a process in which a couple can voluntarily work with one or more mediators to resolve disputes. A mediator is a neutral third party who assists a couple in conflict to communicate, identify relevant issues and voluntarily reach an agreement. The terms of the agreement are chosen by the couple. While a mediator may help with issue identification and option development, a mediator does not tell the couple how to resolve their conflict, nor does a mediator provide legal advice. 

Negotiations can stall when a couple in conflict deals with emotionally charged issues. Mediation is not marriage counseling, yet a mediator may assist the couple to explore their needs and express their emotions, which helps move stalled negotiations.

Couples who chose mediation to resolve conflict are more likely to be comfortable living with the terms of their agreement as opposed to couples who have the terms of an agreement dictated by a stranger in a black robe.

If obsessive control and/or abuse is present in the marriage, litigation may be the only option for the couple. However, litigation often increases conflict and stress, which pour over onto children, family, and co-workers. Furthermore, litigation may make cooperative parenting more difficult.

Child custody, visitation, spousal support, and property settlement can be worked out in mediation. Upon request a mediator can draft the terms on which the couple agree. Couples need not wait months to get into a court of law to resolve their conflicts. Mediation reduces stress and allows couples and their families to get on with the rest of their lives sooner.

Your relationship may be not be in need of repair. However,the divorce rate in this country is testimony to the fact people go into marriage with great expectations, and somewhere along their journey they end up going in separate directions.

Driving into marriage blinded by romantic bliss could spell disaster. However, a tune up, or preventive maintenance, before marriage may keep your marriage going a lot longer.

Clarifying issues with your beloved prior to marriage, without tip toeing around issues that are unpleasant or embarrassing may save a significant amount of money in the future as well as emotional hardship. In the "honeymoon" phase or period of romantic bliss, couples may not be as likely to discuss issues which need to be worked out prior to marriage.

The mediation process empowers couples to discuss and consider these vital issues before saying, "I do." Some of the issues which may present obstacles down the road are related to money, sex, religion and children. Equally important is a discussion of how the couple will resolve future conflict.

In private practice here in Maryland, I am a mediator, i.e., a neutral third party who assists couples identify the strengths and weaknesses of their relationships. I help couples before marriage discuss the issues which may help preserve their marriage down the road. Additionally, in mediation I help couples learn communication skills which may help them resolve future disagreements independently.

Premarital mediation is also useful prior to a couple marrying after experiencing divorce, especially when there are children from a previous marriage. 

The essence of the human, the soul, is at peace when there is no conflict. However, the human "condition" is fragile and as long as our souls inhabit our bodies, our souls are seldom at peace. As a registered nurse, business woman, attorney, and mediator, I have always been drawn to helping people solve problems. Day in and day out, I am contacted by people in conflict.

I am a mediator with a private practice in Maryland. I fulfilled the training and experience requirements of the State of Maryland and am appointed by the court to mediate claims that are scheduled to appear in the circuit court in Maryland.

As a mediator, I am an impartial, neutral third party. Through the mediation process, I help people identify issues relevant to their dispute, assist them to communicate, to hear each other, and to find and negotiate options for settlement.

Much of the time I am able to help people (also referred to as "parties"), resolve their dispute and often improve their relationship. I am especially pleased when I hear from people they learned skills in mediation which they applied in other settings to help head off or deal with conflict.

During my career, which spans more than twenty five years, I served as a nurse and an officer in the United States Air Force, owned and ran a business, became a trained mediator and obtained a law degree. My education, training, and experience taught me to read people well, remain neutral and detached, analyze the facts, and find alternatives for conflict resolution. I am pleased to be able to apply this winning formula in personal and family, as well as, workplace a commercial disputes.