Every family is unique, and many families are dealing with elder care issues. Disagreement and emotionally charged arguments are common. Until family disputes are resolved, care and treatment of a vulnerable aging parent or elder family member may not be consistent. Where the elder family member has declared a preference for care, family disputes may interfere with the observance of the preferences.
While mentally competent, aging family members may be reluctant to discuss plans for care in the event they are no longer able to live independently. Many people find the prospect of discussing advanced medical directives overwhelming. However, when a family member can no longer independently manage the activities of daily living, or live alone safely, the time has arrived to discuss care.
In some cases, despite an aging or elder family member's written medical directives, children and/or other family members still fight about treatment, discharge, and follow up care for the parent or elder family member. A daughter may resent that care of the elderly family member falls to her. A son may not be ready to "pull the plug."
Decisions may be made in the home of the children, or the elderly family member. Families that deal with the emotionally charged issues of elder care outside of the assisted living facility, nursing home, or hospital, assist the case managers and care providers with already overwhelming workloads.
Mediation is ideal for families in conflict related to elder care. In my Maryland practice, families benefit from a neutral third party who assists them with thoughtful discussion and negotiation related to the highly charged emotional issues relevant to elder care.
