While relationships may propel people to the heights of pleasure, relationships may just as easily plunge people to the depths of despair. At both ends of the emotional spectrum people may be faced with difficult decisions. In my Maryland mediation practice I meet with individuals who need help with decision making.
Sometimes when two people are in conflict, one suggests mediation and the other will not consider it. The inability to get another to attend mediation with you should not stop you from participating in the mediation process or meeting with a mediator for help with decision making. A mediator, I do not make decisions for people. I assist people to identify issues relevant to their conflict, and to negotiate the decision making process.
A man and woman, married, but not to each other, had a relationship. They shared a residence.The woman became pregnant. When the baby was born the relationship between the man and the woman was no longer in the "honeymoon" phase.
Man bonded to baby and enjoyed being a father. However, there were growing differences between father and mother. When father and mother had a disagreement, mother threatened to leave residence and take baby with her. The threats usually served to end any disagreements.
After an argument one day, mother packed up baby and went home to husband. Boyfriend attempted to talk to mother about seeing baby. Mother would only allow visitation with baby if father agreed to all of mother's demands including disclosing his whereabouts at all times. Unwilling to agree to mother's demands, boyfriend was unable to see baby until mother left husband again and moved back with boyfriend.
In the interim, boyfriend went out with male friend, who asked boyfriend if he knew for certain whether the child was biologically his. Despite the fact mother was married throughout the relationship, boyfriend assumed he was the father of the baby. Male friend told boyfriend he should order a paternity test kit online. Boyfriend struggled with conflict between the bond he had with baby and the misery he had with baby's mother.
Boyfriend brought his struggle to a neutral third party. Mediation is a process whereby issues relevant to a conflict are identified. The process works for individuals as well as couples and groups. Alternatives for resolution are discussed and weighed with the hope that a resolution will be reached. Individuals may meet alone with a mediator to discuss a conflict and to obtain assistance negotiating alternatives for resolution.
