Have you noticed your conflict with the ex has not ended, even though you have a divorce decree? Conflict will not necessarily stop simply because you are legally divorced, or in the case of domestic partners, just because you are no longer together. In all likelihood if you are ex's, have contact with each other, and share minor children, you will have conflict after the divorce.
The more contentious the divorce, the higher the level of conflict. The amount of continued anger post divorce may influence how post divorce conflict is handled and how ex's relate to each other. This is significant to ex's who need to cooperatively co-parent.
Learning to communicate with your ex related to your children promotes
a cooperative working relationship, an essential for healthy
co-parenting. Ex's may dispute numerous issues, e.g., child rearing in separate homes, child support, visitation, and the impact of each ex's new relationships on the children.
"Stirring the pot," i.e., maintaining the anger keeps the ex's engaged in battle. Battling is an unhealthy way for ex's who cannot let go to remain "engaged." Ex's who are able to disengage work together more effectively to resolve conflict. Ex's who are used to approaching conflict with frustration and anger find it difficult after divorce to discuss matters in a less emotional, or more business-like manner.
Ex's who share minor children participate in mediation as an alternative to litigation to resolve post divorce issues. Ex's committed to effective communication, and "damage control" with respect to the children learn, through mediation to resolve conflict. Ex's who can work together cooperatively are better adjusted, mentally healthier, and better able to co-parent.
