Before you contact a mediator sort out what you want to mediate. Have an idea what you want from mediation. Keep in mind the person with whom you have a dispute may not trust you and therefore has no reason to agree to use the mediator you choose. If you can convince him/her to consider mediation, you might want to give him/her the contact information of two or more mediators, then discuss with each other which mediator to use.
Before mediation consider whether there are any terms under which you would consider settling your dispute. While you may be certain your argument is stronger, keep in mind you may obtain new or additional information at mediation which may allow you to see things differently. If, however, there are absolutely no terms under which you would consider settling, consider whether mediation is worth your time. You may prefer to gamble and let a judge decide your destiny.
Prior to mediation you will receive an agreement to sign. The agreement is a list of terms to which you agree when you mediate, including, but not limited to, a confidentiality statement, which states what is said in mediation is not to be repeated to anyone else without the permission of both parties. Additionally, if an agreement is not reached and the matter goes to court, neither party may quote in court what was said in mediation. Furthermore, the mediator cannot be subpoenaed to testify in court.
A neutral third party, my goal is to level, and keep the "playing field" level. When mediating conflicts related to separation and divorce, which are not referred to me by the court, if one party has an attorney and the other does not, I prefer the attorney, in the interest of balance, not attend the mediation. Furthermore, if the matter is domestic, and has been referred by the court, attorneys usually choose not to attend. However, in other civil, non-domestic matters attorneys frequently attend mediation.
It is not necessary to bring a stack of documents to mediation with you. The mediator will not review the documents in order to decide which party wins or loses. However, bringing to the mediation a list of issues you consider relevant to your dispute may be useful to ensure you address each one or include them in a summary of the facts.
If an agreement is reached in mediation, the parties may request the mediator draft a document which memorializes the terms of the agreement. I advise parties to contact an attorney for the purpose of reviewing any Agreement I draft prior to each party signing the Agreement. Keep in mind, should one or both parties violate the Agreement, the mediator is not responsible for enforcing its terms. The parties may, however, petition and seek a remedy from the court.
Mediation is voluntary. There are no up front retainers, and you pay as you go. Fees for mediation vary. In my Maryland mediation practice the fee is based on an hourly rate and is due at the time of mediation. Prior to attending the mediation session, the parties are expected to decide between themselves how the fee will be divided among them. Mediation sessions are usually scheduled for a minimum two hours. You may, however, try an introductory session, which is one to two hours. Should you find mediation is of no benefit to you, you are under no obligation to continue.
